I have been a mother to two boys since the day they were born.. Yes, I went to culinary school, but was never able to finish and get my degree, because my husband had to take orders in another state. I had no choice, but to move to keep my family together..
When we all moved to New Jersey, i tried to juggle work, the boys, and the house, but no one there understood my situation with hubby's work schedule because of his working nights 2 days one week and 3 the next and verse versa...
My first job was okay. The really big issue was that i had 5 bosses and each had their idea of how they wanted me to make a Greek or dinner salad.. So, I found somewhere else to go that paid more and was hopefully a bit more of a relaxed atmosphere.. HA!!!
My second job was really stressful. It was a country club and the kitchen was hotter the Hades. The reach-ins, the freezers, and the supplies were kept downstairs. The chef kept going on and on about the fact that i went to school to learn. All I ever heard from him is how he learned through experience and how learning in school was a waste of time and money. Great! The stress levels tripled during big parties, i came home sweating so much, my shirts every night clung to me, and when i would pick the boys up from the sitter, she demanded more money. Okay, #1. She had to watch them 2 times one week and 3 the next #2 She was getting paid $175 every 2 weeks.. HELLO!!!!! That was half to 3/4 of my paycheck... The real kicker, my boss asked to speak to me one day. He asked me if i could work more hours. I told him I could not because i could afford to pay more to the sitter and with my hubby hours it was impossible.. He actually asked if mu hubby could shorten his hours so i could work more.. I laughed so hard and said to him,"Actually you will have to call his boss in the big white house on Pennsylvania Ave in D.c. and see how the will go from there." Apparently, that didn't go well with him, I got fired right there and then. It killed me. All my hard work down the drain after 2 months.
My third job went the same way. I worked at MACY'S and was a couple of great months, but it was the same issue. Child Care and the hours..
My fourth job was one i really loved.. I worked as kennel attendant. We walked the dogs, cleaned the cages, and helped the vets and the vet assist with whatever they needed. I loved seeing all types of dog, cats, and wildlife coming in and out of there. There was one dog that sticks in my mind. Caramia.. She was a Doberman Pinscher who lose use of her back legs, but could more faster than i ever thought a dog with her disability ever could. The sad part was, her owners constantly left her in the kennel, months at a time.. Why own a pet if you aren't going to care for it.. The owner of the place, called them and threatened legal action if they didn't stop leaving her there.. A few weeks later, her owner brought her in for a check-up and she had a doggie wheel chair and was a lot happier. Of course, i was fired because they felt there was an issue with the techs and apparently they didn't like me and it made them uncomfortable for me to even be there. Actually, it was more like, when they weren't around and i had to hold animals for the vet and they'd get in to trouble for it and they had to blame some one other than themselves.. I loved that job..
My fifth and final job was working on base at a cafe/bar/entertainment for the sailors and civilian contractors. I made food most of the time and hubby would pop in from time to time to say "Hi". I moved to bartending a few nights. I loved it.. The tips were great and i got to meet a lot of people. It was short lived because of something that happened when hubby tried to help a girl out and it blew up in his face. He got put on 45 days extra duty and everyone was told to not to speak to him.. The guys that supported him would stop in to see if hubby was doing ok.. One of his good friends broke a few fingers because he was so upset with the way the other guys were treating him. The final straw was when the girl showed up to my work and told me she was so sorry she got my husband in trouble and she came by the apartment to tell me she had to to sign the confession, even if it was a complete lie.. I wanted to jump her and beat the snot out of her, but all i could do was slam the door in her face and cry.
I never returned to work after that. We moved to VA. I tried to work then too, but the daycare provider lost her license. So, i didn't work again. It made no sense to work just to pay for babysitters.
I have enjoyed being here at home for the boys. Getting them up and off to school, being home when they get off the school bus, asking them how there day was, and helping them with their homework. But now, that hubby is out of the NAVY and boys are old enough to care for themselves, i want to work. I need to work. I have put out applications, but i can't list any of my past employment, because i haven't worked in so long. It does no good to list it.. 10 years too long!!! I almost had one, but they didn't call me back...
Just a big "L" on my forehead. For it is how i am feeling right now.. I am not only letting myself down, but my family, also..
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