What Is Up with Me?

Here lately I have been a bit on depressed side. Is it because I'm still feeling like crap on toast? Is it because my husband is gone and going to bed alone each and every night? Or is it because this Thursday will be my 32nd birthday?

My opinion, all of the above.

I still have a cough that won't go away and I am going to make another Doctor's appointment tomorrow. My body aches from the coughing. I hate to go back, but I need to take of this so that I can care for my kids

I am now starting to miss my husband more and more each day. At around dinner time, I expect him or to wake up next to him in the morning. I am taking his pillows at night and wrapping my arms around them so that I can go to sleep or just to make it feel like he's in the bed with me. Yes, I'll admit it. Sometimes it is nice when he goes away for 2 weeks or 1 month, but these 6 month deployments are enough to drive a saint crazy. I don't mind taking care of the lawn. It proves to him I am capable of doing more than the norm, when you compound it with taking the trash to the dump, burning the trash, and my usual duties here at home, I get much rest anymore. My only day of rest is Saturday, but the boys are up early and I have to get up with them to make sure they're not getting into trouble. I think after he gets back, I'm going to wait 2 weeks, get a hotel room and have a day of me time... LOL Likes that's ever going to happen. Well, I can dream can't I.

And finally, this thing with my birthday. yippee!!!!!! Most people are fond of them, but it's really never been a big deal to me. I guess because I haven't had a real birthday party in a long time. At times it would be nice to have one, but I would hate to clean-up after one. I think it also has to with the fact that one of my Uncle's was buried on the 14th birthday. That tends to put a damper on things. You think?

Well, it's getting late and i have to be up early tomorrow. PPPHHHHHTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

Sick of Being Sick

You ever felt so bad that you never thought you'd ever get better? That's how I've been feeling. On May 4th, I went to the doctor's about my sinuses and a nagging cough. She gave me a prescription for antibiotics and something else. I just finished them yesterday and I still have a bit of a cough. The worst thing about it, I smell like antibiotics. No matter howing showers I take, no matter what lotion I use on my skin, I smell it all over me. Plus, I am sweating worse than ever because of them. I can go outside for 5 minutes and I am in dire need of another shower. What is up with my body?

Anyway, Sunday was Mother's Day. Thrusday, I recevied a package from my Husband. He sent me a Vermont Teddy bear for my Mother's Day present. All I could do was cry. It made me miss him even more.


Well, I am feeling light headed. I'd better go.

Night